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Craig and I married in 2002, and since then our family has grown beyond the two of us and we have two beautiful daughters – but even though we’re a family of four, we still travel as a couple from time to time.
Traveling as a couple is different from traveling with friends, family, or with kids. There’s always an element of making it “romantic” in some way or using it as a chance to spend quality time together.
Whether you’ve been married for years or you’re in a new relationship, sharing a trip with your person is the ultimate way to bring you closer together.
But, it can be a disaster. We’ve all heard stories of couples who go traveling together, and end up splitting up and going their separate ways.
So to make sure that doesn’t happen to you and your relationship, we’ve put together our top tips for couples travel.
If Craig and I can survive five continents and 20+ years of travel together, you and your partner can too!
Top Tips for Couples Travel
1. Learn to laugh a lot
Craig and I like to have fun and laugh a lot. This helps bring so much ease and casualness into, not just our relationship, but our life.
We try not to sweat the small stuff and we often find stupid things to laugh at like who has the biggest nose and who can do the silliest laughs.
When you are spending the majority of your moments in joy then everything else flows so well and couples travel becomes fun.
2. Make light of each other’s annoying habits
You each have annoying habits. Admit it and get over it. Instead of getting upset about it just make fun of them.
We would often sit down to breakfast at yet another day on a gorgeous Thai beach, and exclaim,
“Oh god. Not you again. Why are you always here? I can’t get a minutes peace. What are we going to talk about now?”
This always ended in a lively and stupid conversation that would set our day off on the right track.
Really, I don’t know what I’d do without Craig’s annoying anal retentive habits that have to always focus on the details. I’d still be fluffing around meditating on the bigger picture, never knowing how to eventually get there.
It really does annoy me how he has to have the piece of wood perfectly straight before he hammers it to build the house. I mean just hammer the damn nail in so we can have the house finished!
3. Give yourself time out
We don’t do this one as often as we probably should, but we usually don’t feel the need.
Make sure you do spend time doing the things that you love to do.
We did more of this when we were actually living in an area for a long period of time.
Just because you are traveling together, doesn’t mean you always have to be together.
I think this is where a lot of couples traveling together end up having issues.
You live in each other’s pockets, and you are each other’s only constant from back home – so it’s natural you’ll want to do everything together.
When travelling, Craig and I were mostly enjoying the same activities – we have similar interests, so of course we both want to do the same things.
That said, we would spend many days lost in our own books, lying on the beach or going off for walks, doing morning yoga, or massage times while the other did their own thing.
Alone time is also an important part of your couples travel.
If you feel like your space is getting too cramped then just let your partner know, “Hey, I love ya and all, but if I don’t get some time out from you for awhile I am going to go crazy.”
Maybe don’t say it like that, but know that independency is important in any relationship, no matter where it is.
4. Participate in activities together that involves teamwork, support and encouragement
Craig and I love hiking and climbing mountains. We look for adventurous activities when we are travelling all the time. Not only are they giving you a fun memory to share, but it really helps you to join together as a couple more.
It is always so great for me having someone as physically able as Craig to help push me along the challenging parts and help me to have more faith in my own strength.
It has been great to have him to turn to when I am crapping myself coming face to face with the monstrous rapids on the Nile River.
This helps us to be able to apply the same principles for when other challenges un-travel related appear in our life.
We are constantly giving each other the encouraging pep talks we need to push through our personal and business barriers. This is a great benefit to couples’ travel.
We also like to fun things together that also help us learn and grow like learning how to make coffee in Sydney, cooking lessons in the Barossa Valley and Tuscany, and blind wine tastings in the Crystal Coast.
5. Compromise and share the decisions
We mostly find ourselves arguing over who is going to be listening to the ipod next, or swinging in the hammock first.
Learn how to compromise.
Many times when you are traveling you don’t want to make a decision in case it is not what the other person wants. Be clear on what you both want and someone make the decision that will suit both of you.
Don’t leave it to one half of the relationship to always make the decisions.
6. Look after each other’s interests
It helps to have similar interests in a relationship. Craig and I are really lucky in that we pretty much like the same things.
We both love outdoor activities, travel, music, sports and having a sunset beer. This means making decisions on what we do and see is not that difficult.
There are times when one of us wants to do something more than the other.
I really wanted to see the gorillas in Uganda, where Craig was give or take on that one as it was really expensive, but he knew it was what I wanted to do so he agreed.
In our eBook we talk about the importance of making sure you experience those once-in-a-lifetime moments, so if your partner really wants to do something, give a little.
And of course, I find myself going to many live sporting events to feed Craig’s addiction.
7. Watch out for tiredness
Craig and I usually only fight on the road when we are really tired and frustrated.
One journey in Africa saw us squashed into the back of a pickup truck with the whole village, bouncing around a dusty dirt road for hours.
We had bike handles up our butts and women’s backsides sitting on our elbows and knees. All of a sudden we grunted to a rocky halt and our wheel went rolling off into the ditch beside us.
The car was so beat up, it was taking hours to fix, so we decided to walk to the next village that ended up being an hour away.
Craig and I had a big fight and we walked that whole distance with our heavy backpacks and about 10 metres distance between us.
It took another couple of hours before we reached our destination, but by that time, we were over it and talking again.
Tiredness and frustration will bring the worst out of anyone.
Be prepared for when it strikes and try to keep your anger in check and your mouth closed. It could signal an end to your couples travel.
8. Don’t isolate yourselves
When traveling as a couple, it is easy for you and your partner to just stick together the whole time.
There are plenty of single people around you and other travel couples doing their thing.
Make an effort to mix with other people, both couples and singles, and send off a we-are-approachable vibe.
This gives you both a break from just each other’s company, allows you to meet many wonderful people, and gives you lots to talk about later on.
Craig and I are always socializing with others when we travel, and we have made a great number of beautiful friendships because of it.
This really adds another dimension to your couples travel experience.
9. Have special “date” moments
When you are travelling as a couple every day and night is really date night.
It is really difficult to create a special date experience. when travelling for long period of times becomes a normal daily thing.
Try to find other ways to have special times together.
Going on adventures as mentioned above is one way. Organize a special dinner or movie night out, or even in.
Splurge for a more upmarket accommodation type. Get massages together, or spend the day lazing around the pool or on the beach.
End the day with a romantic beach stroll and your favourite cocktail before having a delicious seafood dinner on the beach where you talk about your hopes and dreams for the future and plan for them.
10. Share the planning
They say in every relationship there is a rose and a gardener. One person is always looking after the other.
This does not work when it comes to travel. It just builds resentment, as one person is always holding onto the stress of planning.
Put a system in place where one person picks the hotel one day and the other person books the transport the next.
Or sit down together and plan it all as a team.
Just make sure each person has an equal say in the planning process.
11. Create a bucket list
If you want to be one of those couples that “makes it” after their trip, make sure you plan in some bucket list memories on your trip.
It could be something like watching the northern lights together in Norway or eating a tarantula together in Thailand – have a quick research on bucket list activities unique to your destination and plan to do them together.
Then you always have a fond memory to look back on.
12. Agree on a budget
Finances are the bane of all existence, and unfortunately, a common factor in what causes arguments between travel couples.
It might be that you are on different budgets. You may have a higher paid job than your partner and therefore can save more and make your money go further.
Your partner might not have that luxury, so talk beforehand about your daily budget, and leave a little wiggle room to go over.
If you think the budget is looking too small, make your trip shorter, or go somewhere cheaper – but it’s a good idea to talk about this BEFORE you set off.
13. Don’t pack together
This goes back to what I mentioned earlier about space. Have your own bag or suitcase, and keep your belongings separate.
This just makes you feel less like you’re physically tied to your partner and gives you a place of your own.
Imagine if you’re arguing and you want to take a shower, but your partner has the wash bag – awkward?
14. Embrace the chaos
Travelling can throw some curve balls at you. It wouldn’t be travelling if something didn’t go wrong.
You may find yourself getting lost, your accommodation sucks, you miss your train, you get food poisoning – a lot of things can go wrong on the road, and this can make you tired and frustrated (remember our Africa trip mentioned above?).
It’s important to just embrace the chaos and go with it. If you don’t, you’ll hold on to that anger and annoyance and overwhelming feeling, and it will blow up at the person who means most to you.
Accept the challenges, and go with it.
15. Don’t compare yourselves to other couples
Finally, don’t look at other couples and think you’re relationship should be like them.
You don’t have to be sickeningly in love with each other 24/7.
Sometimes it’s nice to have moments where you show affection to one another, other times you can behave more like friends – that’s part of being in a relationship, it’s always evolving and developing.
If you compare yourself to other couples, and start over doing it on the PDA, then it will feel forced and not authentic.
You want to have an authentic, natural relationship, right?
Final Thoughts
Back in 2002, just three days after our wedding, we took off overseas for what turned out to be a five year honeymoon.
Travelling as a couple is either going to make you or break you. We took the risk as newlyweds and it’s safe to say it made us.
Living out of each others pockets 24/7 can be extremely challenging, yet has its definite rewards.
I think many people find us a little weird now as we do everything together.
That is just the way it’s always been.
Since travelling we’ve always had the same circle of friends and our life has been the same big adventure.
We now have a marriage that is founded on really strong principles such as team work, problem solving, and communication.
We have so many amazing memories that we share and things we have been through together, how could we ever separate?
I mean who would get to keep the photos??
We now have two young daughters, and how we travel with kids is a completely different ball game, but we do firmly stand behind these tips for traveling as a couple. It’s worked for us!
What do you think? Do you have any more tips for traveling as a couple? Let us know in the comments.
More Tips for Traveling as a Couple
Need more tips? Here are some other helpful guides about traveling as a couple…
- Can Travel Strengthen Marriages and Long-Term Relationships?
- My partner doesn’t want to travel – 7 ways to change their mind
- Our 20 best travel tips from 22 years of travel
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